Ban du jour: Foam Parties Forbidden This Songkran

Will 2019 be remembered as the year the foam stopped falling?

The police today announced a total ban on all public foam-related activities this Songkran.

Deputy police chief Chalermkiat Sriworakhan, the man tasked with the monstrous responsibly of reining in the New Year fun, announced the foam ban this morning at Royal Thai Police headquarters.

The safety of both tourists and locals is the No. 1 priority he said, before adding a reminder about the tragic death last year of 25-year-old Sangtai Besdart, who was electrocuted to death during one such foam party.

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The usual efforts to rein in the lewder and carnal displays associated with the festival have a strong boost this year by a desire to tone things down in the run-up to May’s coronation ceremonies.

Gen. Chalermkiat chimed in with the official chorus encouraging citizens to celebrate in keeping to tradition this year – which in layman’s terms translates to: Don’t get drunk or sloppy, and if you have lady parts, cover them up.

But how can it really be Songkran without drunkenly frolicking with strangers while hoping the oxygen supply isn’t cut off in a sub-hygienic pool or gutter filled with fetid grey foam? We’ll just have to find out.

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